


Stop-Motion-Pocalypse (Or ‘How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Polymer-Clay Wrapped Armatures)

by La_Pacifidora



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Pacifidora/pseuds/La_Pacifidora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was all Britta’s fault: It was her suggestion that they all remain stop-motion animated through Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop-Motion-Pocalypse (Or ‘How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Polymer-Clay Wrapped Armatures)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at [Milady/Milord on LJ in December 2010.](http://milady-milord.livejournal.com/274457.html)
> 
> Spoilers: Through 2.11 ‘Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas’
> 
> Disclaimers: Not mine. Although I think Dan Harmon knows this friend of mine and based Troy on her…
> 
> Author’s note: This is for greta_garbo, who’s had a crappy couple of weeks. Greta, I know I get a teensy bit fan-girly about your fic, but when I stumbled on this part of the _Community_ fandom back in May (almost entirely by accident, thanks to a friend of mine), yours was the fic that defined this ship for me: Funny, intelligent and sexy but with an immense amount of heart. I’m sorry Real Life’s been kicking your ass, and I hope this fic can at least distract you for a while.

It was all Britta’s fault: It was her suggestion that they all remain stop-motion animated through Christmas.

Annie knew, logically, that the rest of the group hadn’t had to agree so readily to the blonde’s suggestion, but none of them had thought even for a moment that things would turn out this way. 

At first, the stop-motion animation had been confined to the Greendale Community College campus.

But then, it began to spread. The butler stand that held menus at the Greendale Grizzly Coffee Co. shop began speaking to people when they entered and recommending the brew of the day. The clown-faced-intercom at the drive-thru donut place started lecturing people on why they should be eating more fruit.

And the snowmen people were building in their backyards, thanks to one of Greendale’s extremely rare but heavy snowfalls, were coming to life.

(Professor Duncan was convinced the entire town was suffering from an Ergot-induced delirium, but couldn’t reconcile Jeff’s avoidance of carbs with this theory.)

People had freaked out the first few days – Leonard even tried to start a gang to loot the shops on Main Street – but by the time the fourth morning dawned, people were adjusting.  
***  
When Annie wandered out of the vibrant and brightly colored bookstore on Woodsboro and 5th, she was only mildly surprised to see Snow!Chang in a feathered fedora and singing with an Oom Pa Pa band clad in lederhosen.

After all, it was Greendale on December 23: Stranger things had happened, and would surely happen again.

For her part, Annie still hadn’t quite got used to the way walking in stop-motion felt: It was a little like getting off a rollercoaster, downing two screwdrivers (her current record) and having Jeff kiss you.

(She paused as Dean Pelton, dressed as an elf, skipped across the street with a person dressed in a life-size Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer costume.  
She blinked slowly: At least, she _thought_ it was a person in a costume.)

She continued down the sidewalk, looking around at the over-done holiday cheer – the wreaths on every door and window, the twinkle lights wrapped around every lamp post, the sparkly snowflakes drifting down – and smiled: Maybe it was overdone. Maybe it was cliché. Maybe it was more highly defined than normal because of the nature of the medium.

Annie didn’t care: She loved Christmas, and she’d overlook the weird things until the world returned to its regularly scheduled appearance for the sake of enjoying what she had now.

“Stupid. Stop. Clay. Animation. Cow. Poop. Aaargh!”

Annie froze in her tracks, turning slowly to look across the street in the direction of the raised voice she’d just heard.

There was Jeff, standing in front of a toy store, wrapped in a string of multi-colored tree lights and swaying under the growing weight of the growling, chirping and barking stuffed animals that were climbing up his jeans.

Annie smiled brightly and watched for a minute before her concern over Jeff’s well-being got the best of her, and she tripped lightly across the snow-covered pavement to come to his aid.

“Need a hand?”

“I. Hate. These. Adorable. Frazzy. Fuzzy. Shizzies.” Jeff frowned. “Why can’t I frazzing say a single smekking curse word? What’s wrong with me?”

“It’s the power of stop motion: Everything we say or do must be family friendly.”

“Annie…”

“Yes, Jeff?”

“Can you get these frazzing fuzzy smekkers off me?”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Now?”

“No.” Annie chuckled and rocked back on her heels, fussing with the folds of her winter coat.

“Please?” Jeff groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“OK!” Annie answered brightly and squatted so she was on eye-level with Jeff’s knees. She took a deep breath and waited for the music to swell. “ _Oh, my little friends, please do not be offend-ded-_ ”

“What are you doing?” Jeff asked in exasperation as he looked down at Annie, pushing away the distinctly non-family friendly thoughts he had when he saw her flushed face looking up at him.

“Well, I _was_ trying to convince these toys to leave you alone-”

“In song?”

“You have a better idea?”

“Uh. Duh.” Jeff shrugged as much as he could. “You could plug in this string of lights and either electrocute them or burn them off.”

“But Jeff-”

“Look, Edison, just plug it in and get these things off me.”

“But Jeff! If it electrocutes them, wouldn’t it-”

“Annie, stop trying to Pollyanna your way out of this situation, and just plug in the frazzing lights, OK?”

“OK.” Annie stood up and gave Jeff a mournful look. “But if this takes an unexpected turn, I want you to remember this was your idea.”

“Pfft.” Jeff scoffed as he hop-waddled closer to the exterior façade of the toy shop, where an outdoor outlet was conveniently located. “What’s the wo- bleh. Pleft!” He stopped and spat out some synthetic feathers from a stuffed robin that had flown close to his mouth. “What’s the worst that could happen?” He raised an eyebrow, frowning when he glanced to the side and caught sight of his face in the toy shop’s window: His eyebrow was nearly at his hairline, thanks to the exaggeration of his animated state.

Annie reached a hand into the writhing, purring and chirping mass of stuffed animals, tugging the plug end of the light string out and glancing up at Jeff again before shaking her head and plugging the lights in.

There was a loud pop, a shout and a thud. Annie peeled open one eye, not sure when she had closed them, and stood to survey the entire scene: All the stuffed animals had retreated several feet away from Jeff’s prone, immobile and slightly smoking form, and a few of the larger animals were licking at their own singed synthetic fur. She stepped closer and leaned over to get a better look at Jeff.

It appeared that the string of lights had been overloaded and not just zapped the mass of stuffed animals, but had knocked Jeff out like, well, like a light. His face was sooty like that of Wylie E. Coyote after an ACME device had backfired, and there were singe marks on his jeans and coat. 

“Jeff?” Annie spoke quietly, shooting a look around before she picked up a handy twig and poked him with it. “Jeff? Are you dead?”

“Ugh.” Jeff groaned and turned his head from side to side. “Did it work? Are they gone?”

“Yep.” Annie popped the ‘p’ and tossed the stick down. “Let’s get you untangled.”

Jeff groaned again but nodded, his eyes still screwed shut. Annie carefully unplugged the string of lights and, starting at Jeff’s feet, unwound them from his body. When he was finally free, she knelt next to him and helped him sit up.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I got electrocuted.”

“I warned you.”

“I know.” Jeff hazarded a glance at Annie, who had her best ‘I told you so but you’re still hurt so I won’t rub your face in it. For now.’ look on her face. “Can you help me up? I was having difficulty getting used to walking in this form even before you plugged me in.”

“You told me to!”

“I know.” Jeff leaned heavily on Annie’s arm as he pushed against the side walk and wobbled to his feet. He let go of her, only to start to crumple again, but Annie slid in next to him, slipping his arm around her shoulder. He glanced down at her, smiling a little when he saw the look of determination on her face. “Can you get me to my car? I’m just parked down the block.”

They started ambling slowly in the direction of Jeff’s Lexus: Him stumbling every few steps, her grimacing when he did and had to lean on her more heavily.

(She didn’t remember him being so heavy when he’d tackled her in the study room several weeks earlier, and briefly wondered if something in the transition to stop-motion status affected their mass. She decided that was a question better left for the next morning.)

“Jeff?”

“Hmm?”

“You can’t drive like this.”

“I’m not durnk.” Jeff’s tone was patronizing, but his slurred words and the twitch in his face as he said them belied his statement.

“Right.” Annie leaned him against the passenger side door of his car before digging into his coat pockets.

“What’re you- Hey! An-Annie! HEY!” Jeff shied away from her when she started rummaging around in his jeans’ pocket. “What the hello, Edison?”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, Jeff.” Annie made a little noise of triumph and held up his car keys, which she shook in his face. “I was looking for these.” She grabbed his arm to right him from where he’d started to slump down, then unlocked the passenger door and maneuvered him into the seat, reaching across him to buckle the seat belt.

She decided to ignore the way he was sniffing her hair, and wondered why things like this only happened when something exceptionally strange happened, never on any ordinary day when they were both flesh and blood and could actually do something about it. She walked around the front of the sedan and climbed into the driver’s seat, buckling herself in and pulling away from the curb as she headed in the direction of Jeff’s apartment.

“You can’t durve mah car.” Jeff slurred at her from the passenger seat.

“Jeff, you pretty much already let Troy drive your car.”

“I was drin-durn-drunk that time.”

“And you’ve been electrocuted this time.” Annie drew the car to a stop at a stop sign and looked both ways before crossing the intersection, though there was no other traffic. She glanced over at Jeff briefly. “Tomato, tomahto.”

“Harumph.” Jeff blew a raspberry at her then twitched violently. “Ow.”

Annie snickered and turned into the parking lot of Jeff’s apartment complex and pulled into a spot. She shut the car off, climbed out and walked around to pull Jeff out of the passenger seat, where he had snuggled in and begun to doze off.

“C’mon.”

“No.” Jeff batted at her hands, twitching again from the residual currents. “Five more minutes.”

“Sorry, Sleepy: But I can’t leave you in your car.”

“Why? Slept here before.” Jeff squinted at her and pouted, prompting Annie to wonder, among other things like why his hair had remained when the Humbugs had stripped the flesh from his bones, or why they were all capable of such a range of expressions when The Little Drummer Boy and Heatmeister hadn’t managed much.

“I know. But now you have a nice apartment, and my conscience won’t let me let you sleep in your car.” Annie propped him against the side of the car again as she closed and locked the sedan. Then she looped his arm around her shoulders again and slid one of her own around his waist, telling herself to ignore the heat she could feel radiating from him and focus instead on the snow she could feel seeping into her ballet flats.

It took longer than it would’ve under better circumstances, but eventually Annie found herself in Jeff’s apartment, with the man himself hanging onto her sleepily. She kicked his front door closed behind them, and reached back to lock the deadbolt with one hand, a habit born more of her own apartment’s location than of any plans to stay with him for longer than it would take to get his jacket and shoes off and into his bed.

“OK, Jeff: Where’s your bedroom?” Annie felt along one wall blindly before her fingers landed on a light-switch panel. She flipped each switch in turn to find one that would illuminate his room. When she did, she grimaced and wished perhaps she hadn’t: In stop-motion animation, Jeff’s apartment was garishly colored but Spartan. She had a feeling it would be even more depressing and empty in the cold, muted light and colors of reality.

“Lookin’ at it.” Jeff mumbled from somewhere in the vicinity of her shoulder, where his head was resting.

“Really?” Annie glanced around as she led him further into the room. “But it’s so- so-”

“Bare? Ugly? Poor?” Jeff offered, the last word muffled as he turned his face into her neck. “Hmm. You’re warm.”

“Well.” Annie looked around before settling Jeff into his flimsy desk chair. “Yeah.”

“S’what happens when you get disbarred and lose your life.”

“Oh, Jeff.” Annie clucked disapprovingly. “You didn’t lose your life: It just changed.”

“Yeah.” Jeff slumped in the chair and watched blearily as Annie set about folding out his hide-a-bed. “Changed into _this_.” He gestured between them to indicate their current unusual state. “D’you think I was ever animated when I was a lawyer? Oh, I can answer that one: No.” He sighed and twitched again, clamping his hands around the seat so he didn’t slide out onto the floor. 

“This is just the electrocution talking.” Annie said firmly, turning back to Jeff and hauling him upright. She unbuttoned his winter coat and eased it down his arms and deftly hung it off the back of his office chair. She eased him around and sat him down on the edge of his mattress, then kneeled and untied his brown dress shoes. “OK, lie down Jeff. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“No, I won’t.” Jeff shrugged off her hand. “I’m made out of _clay_ , Annie.” To demonstrate, he held up one four-fingered hand, pulled it off with a pop, let it wave to her as he held it up and then stuck it back on. “I’m not going to feel better till stuff like that’s not possible.” He looked up at his textured plaster ceiling and took a deep breath. “ _To be human again/ Look like me again/ With a catch on each arm/ To be human again/ Be frazzing awesome again/ Smart and rich and charming as hello-_ ”

“Jeff.” Annie looked at him with real concern. “Ar-are you… _singing_?”

“Oh. God.” Jeff slapped one hand against his face, dragging it down, bringing his features down as well for a moment before they snapped back into place like a rubber band. “I am.”

“OK.” Annie took a firm tone. “Time for you to get some sleep.”

“But I’m clay!”

“You’re not clay: It’s a polymer modeling material-”

“Edison.”

“C’mon, Jeff.” Annie sighed and sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. “It’s nearly Christmas: You only have to make it through another day of this.” She gave Jeff an encouraging smile but frowned when he groaned, flopped back, grabbed a pillow that he put over his face and let loose a string of mostly inoffensive swear words. “Besides, it could always be worse: At least this way, we’re still three dimensional. And it’s still Greendale, and not, I don’t know, Whoville or something. Can you imagine what would happen if we’d ended up in ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’?”

“Yeah: With my luck, I’d be furry and green.” Jeff tossed the pillow back to the head of the bed and turned his head to look at her.

“Yeah.” Annie gave him a mildly amused look. “’Cause it’d be such a shame for your heart to grow three sizes.”

“That’s not the only thing that can grow thr-” Jeff’s mouth kept moving but his voice stopped. He gaped and blinked slowly. “What just happened?”

“I told you earlier: It has to be family friendly.” Annie glared at him, but her eyes were laughing. “It’s not that bad, Jeff. If nothing else, it’s made everyone nicer to each other.”

“Yeah.” Jeff said as he turned his head to stare up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure if he should saying anything when he felt her hand land atop one of his and give a reassuring squeeze: On the one hand, it was comforting to know that even like this, she’d still try to make him feel better. On the other hand, the inadequacy of human contact like this crystalized in his mind: Annie’s real skin was warmer and softer than this stuff they were all made of right now. “You’re right. As usual.” He looked over at her without moving his head. “That’s one of the things I love about you, y’know? You’re almost always right, but you don’t shove it in other people’s faces.”

“Uh.” Annie gaped, unable to really respond. 

“Yep. That’s why I love you. And I love Shirley because she doesn’t give up, even when maybe she should. And I love Troy because he’s a good leader – and he didn’t crash my car on his birthday. And I love Abed because he let me crash on his couch for a while, and because he always seems to know what’s going on. And I love Britta-”

“Oh, really?” Annie said, one eyebrow raised as she tried – unsuccessfully – to pull her hand away from Jeff’s. But he had turned his hand over so they were palm to palm and had threaded his fingers through hers as much as was possible.

“- because she doesn’t put up with my shit, and she’s like you because she expects better of other people.” Jeff continued as though he hadn’t heard Annie’s question. “I even love Pierce because he needs us, and I guess it’s nice to be needed.” He yawned and pulled his legs up onto the bed, burrowing his feet under the blanket Annie had pulled back earlier and twitching a little. “’m so sleepy. Electrocution really takes it out of you.” His eyes suddenly shot wide open, a strange look on his face with his huge forehead. “I should’ve died. Hey, Annie.” He tugged on her hand, throwing off her balance as she tried to stand. “If I hadn’t been animated, I could’ve died.” He frowned. “But if I hadn’t been animated, I wouldn’t’ve been covered in living stuffed animals.”

“Still, it’s a bright side, right?” Annie said as she stood and reached out with her free hand to flip the blanket over Jeff.

“Yeah. Hey! That’s another thing: I love that you always try to see the bright side of things.”

“Oh.” Annie looked at their joined hands, then met Jeff’s sleepy gaze. “You’re not going to remember any of this in the morning, are you?”

“Probably not.” Jeff yawned again. “But I want to.”

“Well, that’s a start.” Annie squeezed his hand and tried to pull her hand away, frowning and looking at Jeff’s face when he wouldn’t let go. “Jeff-”

“Stay here.” He tugged on her hand and patted the mattress beside him with his other hand. “Stay the night.” He gave her his most innocent look, which was still less innocent than she would’ve liked, given the start of stubble she could detect on his cheeks. Distracted for a moment, she wondered how he could have a five o’clock shadow as an animated figure, but shook off her thoughts when he tugged on her hand again.

“Jeff, it’s nearly-” She looked across at his alarm clock, “midnight, and I live in a really bad part of town…”

“I know.” Jeff’s tone was wheedling. “So stay here. I don’t like the thought of you alone in your neighborhood at this time of night, even if the worst that could happen is being attacked with candy cane nunchucks or threatened with a wiffle ball bat.” He tugged on her hand again. “And it’s cold outside. How’re you going to get home? You drove my car here…” 

“Well.” Annie looked away, mentally weighing the pros and cons even as she noted the door for the bathroom and the box of her favorite cereal sitting on his kitchen counter. She looked back down at him and shrugged. “OK. But I need my hand back.” She smiled and shook her head when Jeff grinned and let go. Annie took off her coat, laying it across Jeff’s office chair, then slipped off her ballet flats and sweater, which she folded carefully and placed atop her coat. She glanced over at Jeff. “Close your eyes.”

“Wh-”

“Just do it, Winger.” Annie said sternly, hoping her nervous fidgeting wasn’t as noticeable in her animated state. She took a deep breath when he shrugged and closed his eyes, quickly hiking up her skirt and sliding off her tights, which she folded and set next to her sweater. She stepped back to the bed and sat down, swinging her strangely bendy legs up under the blanket and lying down. “OK. You can open your eyes again.”

Jeff opened his eyes and turned on his side, tucking the blanket up under her chin, throwing an arm around her waist over the blanket and wincing when her cold feet brushed against his own.

“G’night, Annie.”

“Good night, Jeff.”  
***  
The morning sunlight as it filtered through Jeff’s blinds was cold and faint, but it was still enough to drag him from his sleep. He yawned quietly and blinked, smiling as he realized once and for all that Annie’s hair wasn’t perfect from the moment she woke up: Right then, it was a bit of a rat’s nest. 

She shifted against him, and Jeff found himself with a noseful of her hair. He inhaled deeply: Make that a very soft, good smelling rat’s nest, but a rat’s nest, nonetheless. 

Annie shivered, and Jeff tightened his arm around her waist (when had his arm gone inside the blankets to wrap around her directly?) as he stretched his neck. The bones clicked faintly, and he snuggled back under the blanket, lacing all five fingers though Annie’s when his hand landed atop hers. Jeff closed his eyes and exhaled: Life was good.

He froze as several things slid into place in his mind: Annie’s hair was a mess, with individual strands tangled and mussed. He had real bones, not just a wire armature, which cracked when he stretched them. They both had five fingers, and her skin was warm and a little rough beneath his own palm.

Jeff’s eyes opened widely, and he raised himself up on one arm, looking around his apartment before glancing down at himself and Annie: They were back to normal. He tugged his hand away from hers and placed it on her shoulder, shaking her gently.

“Annie? Annie? Edison? Wake up, Annie.”

“Wha?” Annie said as she squirmed and turned her head to nuzzle her face into his shoulder.

“We’re human again.” Jeff watched as Annie was still for a moment, then pulled back and blinked sleepily to stare up at him. He smiled when her eyes widened and one of her hands wormed out of the blanket to land on his cheek.

“Oh my word.” She breathed quietly. “Your forehead is only slightly disproportionate to your face now, not incredibly huge.”

“What?” Jeff frowned down at her, though he didn’t pull away from her hand.

“Uh. I mean, Wow! We’re human again!” She tried with forced enthusiasm.

“Uh huh.” Jeff gave her a skeptical look.

“Yep.” Annie pulled her hand away and folded both hands on her stomach over the blanket. “Well. I suppose I should go now.” She gave a little nod and started to roll to the side. Jeff reached out and caught her arm.

“What’s the rush?” He shrugged when she looked at him in confusion. “It’s Christmas Eve: Where do you need to be?”

“Uh.” Annie blinked slowly. “Wait a sec: I thought Britta said we should stay stop motion until Christmas.”

“Yeah.” Jeff’s brow furrowed as he thought but finally he shook his head. “I don’t know: Maybe Christmas Eve is close enough? It has the word in it, and it’s not as though she specified the Eve or the Day.”

“Oh.” Annie swallowed. “I guess I could stay a little longer.” She yawned, placing a hand over her mouth and flushing a little. “But I should probably go slay the dragon breath and put my tights back on.”

“Put them back on?” Jeff raised an eyebrow, and Annie’s heart sped up a little as the look that followed was no longer as odd looking as it’d been for the last few weeks: It was back to being unreasonably hot. Jeff’s hand left her arm and slid down her side, past the hem of her skirt and settling on her bare knee. “Why’d you take them off in the first place?”

“I hate sleeping in tights.” Annie spoke quietly, unsure what might break the spell they both seemed to be under. “They get all twisted around, and it’s just very uncomfortable.”

“Then I commend your foresight, Edison.” Jeff squeezed her knee, prompting to Annie to gasp. He leaned further down and paused with his lips hovering just above hers so she could feel the rush of air when he inhaled. “Do you know what the best part of not being stop-motion animated is?”

“What?” Annie’s voice was breathier than she thought the situation called for, but found most of her brain and gut didn’t care what she thought or sounded like, as long as she got an answer she was pretty sure she’d like.

“Well,” Jeff said quietly as he closed even more of the distance between them, “not everything has to be family friendly anymore.”


End file.
